i had this "slight" over-size friend who, recently happened to catch a flu.

so there's this afternoon, while talking to me with his cigarette in between his fingers, he cursed after his sneeze "damn, might as well as give me swine flu."

and i laughed. for one i didn't know the existence of swine flu yet, and second, he's much a swine sometimes.

i bet channel 5 is going to have another series of commercial teaching ADULTS how to wash their hands, and maybe feet too.

while on it, i've been thinking about the virus epidemic, what's the reason?

you can ask some holy cow, and they'll say its punishment of god.

you can ask some Charles XII Darwin and maybe Charles XIII Darwin and they would say its the result of mutation and evolution.

or you can ask your maths lecturer and he would properly take out a piece of paper and start proving Chaos Theory right in front of your eyes.

but maybe it isn't that complicated, maybe its something darker.

how about imagining a group of greed-filled and malicious balding bonker scientists that want to be famous and want all the pennies in the whole. so what they did was to create a virus and its antiviral drugs. they released the virus into a market and it slowly spread across the region. this sudden invasion of the virus epidemic threw everyone off guard and the first scientist to come up with the solution would definitely be deem as Christ the savior.and this is how they get famous, and extremely rich over night.

oh wow.

hello sunny morning.

its been a hectic month and i'm glad its gone. exams were over before i started panicking, and holidays arrived before i unpacked my pencil case from my bag.there's so many things that happened from day to day, but its so hard to remember exactly where and when did it happened? and sometimes u blame yourself for repeated mistakes cause of our poor memories.

recently one of my friend in school had her test paper lost by our professor. and all our professor said was "nothing's fair in life."

i've the urged to prove otherwise. but than i realized, life hasn't been fair to me either. as much as i want to give myself some hope that life's worth living and to each the reasons might be different, but the bottom line is that everything happened for a reason, and thus we're breathing right now for a purpose.

ever love and hate someone so much at a same time? but before we start yelling at the sky that life's unfair (yet again), maybe its for a reason, or a lesson that supposed to be learn.

maybe we all need to be hurt, and tramped all over, to appreciate the love that we took for granted.

maybe we all need to be love, and pampered, to nourish our soul and to tell ourselves we too, deserve to be treated right.

and its definitely alright,definitely, not to be loved by someone, but, simply by yourself. so what, if you're in love, but you feel just indifferent from an empty shelf. an empty shelf that is slowly filled with books that's read and never re-read again. you become a display over time. there's no love. and maybe, you've lost the ability to love yourself either.

remember the first time u kissed someone special.we all do.

you saw that very first sunrise in their eyes.

some lasted as long as they loved each other.

but some dwell on memories.

they can say "i still love you, and i still hold u dearly." but is that "you" the present "you" or the "you" they met 1 year ago? and sometimes when we know the harsh truth, we try to change. but didn't you realise they always find an excuse that you're STILL not what they want?

fuck off.

start living for yourself. start loving for who you are. we're no more an empty book shelf that's only for display.

there's no 10 guidelines you can follow on how to fall in love with Mr right. but there's 1 heart you can always trust.

"si vous croyez seulement"